Oh, what a night, we have many directors we can only afford one transcriptor/typist due to the limited function of the google.doc, and the roared of laughter when some of us input the intimacy, the boldness of the characters, hehehe.... even someone gave a word ‘wow’.
But most of all, some of us including me was very worried whether we meet the deadline or not, due to our busy schedule. The story that we have only edited was only at the ‘Departure’ – The crossing of the 1st Thresholds. As I was writing into this blog, I have yet to receive any reply of the next online.
During the last week, after our online, Mary and myself have taken the liberty to input some ‘meat’ into the story. But, for myself, I have created more than have been asked, I have written a ‘skeleton’ which I have told my team mate, but in actual fact, I have written part of a novel. I have researched into sites, where I have learned of ‘how can I make the witch alive, how can I make the dragon to be fierceful and etc.
I even research for a name for the dragon – DRAKON for a male, DRAKON (Δράκων): Greek name meaning "dragon." In Greek mythology, there are many dragons mentioned. For example, Drakon Ismenios was a gigantic serpent which guarded the sacred spring of Ismenos near Thebes; the Drakon Kholkikos was the guardian of the golden fleece; Drakon Maionios was a huge Dragon that ravaged the land of Lydia.
Infact I do have a female name for it and it coincide with my name ‘MELINDA’ MELINDA: Modern English compound name composed of Mel- (from Melissa ("sweet") or Melanie ("black, dark") and Linda "serpent," hence "black/dark serpent" or "sweet serpent." Surprise, how amazing.
I have started my novel reading since Form 1, those days was M&B, Brabara Cartlands, and etc. but as I was growing up I went into novels and I carried on till this very day. I remember I finished my pocket money just to travel to those days was at Macalister Road, where you have this Indians’ stall renting out story books. I read books during my recess time, underneath my desk to avoid being caught by our prefects, on my daily bus journey from Air Itam to my school at Leith Streets or any where else, at the bus transit station, weekends, confinement days, even now if I have a little time squeeze out from my busy schedule.
You see, I have all the materials inside my head from so many books/ resources, and I have wanted very much to start my amatuer story writing many times, but do not have the gut to do so. Therefore with this mission I have an indirect oppotunity and when I tried to put it done in words for The White Lady and the Dragon, everything comes out so naturally, of course with grammar mistakes. I bought many characters into the story, and also saw them coming alive. I named the grandmother ‘Supa’ remembering Phlox grandmother as ‘Pupa’, the lord as ‘Sir William’, the son as ‘Lord Stephen’ and etc.
I thought I can do the storyline to the advantage of all my teammates, so that coming the next online we do not have to crack our head on the story. I thought I can permit and endure of the cutting out and replacing whatever they wants to change.
Oh my, I was so wrong.......
I was like so lost, watching on my computer screen, seeing my invented characters being removed bits by bits. This is no fault of my teammates, as they do not realise that I have put all my heart into it. The feelings in me was like ‘Tanya saying goodbye to her family’ – my heart felt so heavy, I can’t breathe at some moment, I need to remind myself to breathe, I felt blood rushing to my head, worse of all I felt my heart being wrench out and believe me it is so painful.
Therefore at some point, the google.doc was running into problem to have the story being deleted, I was relieved (but later Cheng asked me to paste it back using my file) sigh-sigh....
I carried the feeling even the next day, the thing still in my mind, and I say to myself I need to pen this down into my blog, not to ask for sympathy from my readers, but a revenue to pour our my sadness so that I have no more of it in my heart.
Now, I can only understand how some of the novelist who has their story to be told into a movie, felt. So many wonderful scene and character be performed ‘karate-chop’.
Even my ‘home minister’ felt my misery when we went to bed but he told me his side, “it is okay, it is for the benefit of the mission, you win some and you will lose some, it is okay” and I keep my finger crossed I will be okay then.
Applying Sculting Work
13 years ago
Hi Melinda, thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us regarding the editing of the story. I understand it is truly hard for you to see your creative work being taken out. I can sense your pain as you were in silence when we were editing that part. My sincere apology to you if I sounded very blunt when saying words like "chop, cut!" now I learnt that these words could be very painful for you as the author. If i were you, i may feel the same.
ReplyDeleteHi,Mary, it is okay now, as I have come to term with the situation, today afternoon at BOLD I have gone through the whole story and re-write it together with Cheng.
ReplyDeleteMelinda, while I shared most of what Mary has commented, I would also like to share that it is here I discover you are gifted in storytelling and writing. Congratulation for this wonderful gift that you can contribute so much to the writing and telling of therapeutic stories to children or adolescent in the local community. If you see this as a blessing, then perhaps the letting go of 'some' or ' a lot' in the editing process could be a bit more comforting..for we have accepted the storyline which is mainly your contribution.
ReplyDeleteI also feel that everyone is trying to contribute from her perspective, in the process, each one of us is also letting of her creative idea/work for common good...not without pain and struggle but perhaps not as intense as yours as you have really put in your heart and soul.
welldone melinda, for the effort, i can see the nurtural and also the strenght with u, in this story. the sweetest part still remain here, and glad that all of us, the team make it through
ReplyDeleteIts the most difficult part of any creative act for an artist, when what has be given life through the birthing of our creation and the emotional attachment that has become so closely associated with it in the process is longer in our possession and to see changed and transformed by others. I can only imagine that a similar process also occurs when a mother watching her 'baby' transformed through the influences of others during the transition of adolescent as they proceed into adulthood which is the theme of the mission as well. The grieving that a mother may have to go as it 'loses' her 'baby' and becomes separate from it and the agony of seeing a different personality being replaced in return as the son struggles to find a new identity for himself that is socially located in the outside world. The tension between the individual and the group, the private and social, world within and the world outside, are the some of the dynamics that each of us have to manage and find our equilibrium. It is evident that you have invested a lot of emotional energy into the task and for what the transformation it had brought you in your engagement through such an immersion. Anything less may not have the same impact it may have had on you and thus the associated gain or personal development for you.
ReplyDelete