Victory - Finale

Dramatic Role Playing - Finale

All of us was so excited for that day we done our recording even though it was just a 'Bonus point" if we do it. Holding the script, playing the character of 'Marshila' and handling the recording, were not an easy task, but I managed. During the recording every one of us was so co-operative and even know when to talk. We even do not have to do N.G. the whole 'play' was recorded by one take; this is not always the case in real scenario.

Mary was well chosen on the part as the narrator, and the unicorn - her voice was very powerful as a helper.

Ding was so breath taking - as Tanya the voice was so sweet, so seductive and she actually brought me time travel - to the time when I switched on to the Disney's Fairytale - the voice of the princess came out.

Cheng as Harri Penari - the prince in disguise, as Elaine said your luring voice can make any maiden falls for him.

Elaine as Datus Ibris - you are designated to be in this role, remember you said that you would to change the role with Seok Binn and take up the role of the son instead, but at the last moment you decided to take back the role and as a result - it really fits you - the commanding voice, I only have to close my eyes and I visualised a Datuk speaking out.

Seok Binn as Ibris Waris - your voice brought up the courage, young and handsome too. Even you are following the script, but I can really heard your character crusading for Tanya and leading her all the way to her desination.

Phaik Nie as Dhalia and Queen of Elve – you are the really the voice of the good queen in every fairytale movie. Your voice was so emphasised and forgiveness.

And now, myself as Marshila, let me tell you my journey into the character,

Scene 1 - Marshila was making the spell, I actually visualised myself in my secret cave, making the potion. The voice came out so naturally, the slurring, the tone low and loud, the laughing, the cunning laugh, and etc.

Scene 3 – Marshila got back Drakon – the happiness that I can fool Tanya and got back Drakon. The satisfaction of getting back to the villagers for what they have done to her.

Scene 7 – Marshila said “This is not the end of me, you have not seen the last of me yet” deep inside me I do not want Marshila to vanish into thin air, I still long for her return, for better for worse who knows.... well let make it episode AKAN DATANG, yeah.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ,
for just being there when I needed you most,
for going through this journey not by leading but by my side,
for your generous sharing,
and for being my friend.

Rainbow in Dragonville - Audio

The Near to 'The Return'

The Mission of Operation Heroes in Transitions

We have already finished the storyline, and we have passed it to the script writer to do their magic. Eventhough, Ding and myself did not vote to be in the 'script writer' group but it does not stopped us from going over and joined them on 7 July. We met up at PH's house and we have such a challenging, exciting, finger biting, fun and etc. time. Few of the time when we came into 'Marshila' part, I can't stop myself from speaking out the words. Why am I still so attached to the witch part even after so long since Aug 2009 TOUStorytelling , why does I felt that as it is another part of me? Why did I speak out the words as her from my mouth?

Witch is she bad? Why is it so unfair to say that she is bad? Why is the wizards does not shared this fate? Look at Merlin, Harry Poter, Dumbledore, Gandalf, they are heroes and postive welcoming and why not the witch?

Remembering words from Alex during that time:
Could the witch be the repressed 'shadow' element of the 'anima' calling for the assertion of the feminine power of the psyche? Is progress hindered because the shadow element needs to be integrated and find expression rather than being repressed through placating and ensuring it stays in the depths of the unconscious.

Once again in Dramatherapy I called up my role as the witch, to self check myself?

The witch (as my shadow) attempting to communicate through the metaphors 'waking up the forces dormant 'sleeping' of a powerful transforming force 'dragon' from the depths of the unconscious 'lake'.

If the dragon is a symbol of change and transformation, then have I changed or transformed since the module of TOUstorytelling?
If the dragon which was the powerful force that lies in my unconscious 'lake' is at that time, being contained and repressed, the colour of the dragon was black, indicated the fear of unleashing, was it release from my 'lake'?
If 'Tanya' singing is the ego's attempt to keep the unconscious force to deny its maturation and potential of growth, and to seek the treasure within, then by stopping her and release the 'dragon', what is the outcome for me?

I believe I have already have the answers.......

Turning The White Lady and The Dragon into script.

Oh, what a night, we have many directors we can only afford one transcriptor/typist due to the limited function of the google.doc, and the roared of laughter when some of us input the intimacy, the boldness of the characters, hehehe.... even someone gave a word ‘wow’.

But most of all, some of us including me was very worried whether we meet the deadline or not, due to our busy schedule. The story that we have only edited was only at the ‘Departure’ – The crossing of the 1st Thresholds. As I was writing into this blog, I have yet to receive any reply of the next online.

During the last week, after our online, Mary and myself have taken the liberty to input some ‘meat’ into the story. But, for myself, I have created more than have been asked, I have written a ‘skeleton’ which I have told my team mate, but in actual fact, I have written part of a novel. I have researched into sites, where I have learned of ‘how can I make the witch alive, how can I make the dragon to be fierceful and etc.

I even research for a name for the dragon – DRAKON for a male, DRAKON (Δράκων): Greek name meaning "dragon." In Greek mythology, there are many dragons mentioned. For example, Drakon Ismenios was a gigantic serpent which guarded the sacred spring of Ismenos near Thebes; the Drakon Kholkikos was the guardian of the golden fleece; Drakon Maionios was a huge Dragon that ravaged the land of Lydia.
Infact I do have a female name for it and it coincide with my name ‘MELINDA’ MELINDA: Modern English compound name composed of Mel- (from Melissa ("sweet") or Melanie ("black, dark") and Linda "serpent," hence "black/dark serpent" or "sweet serpent." Surprise, how amazing.

I have started my novel reading since Form 1, those days was M&B, Brabara Cartlands, and etc. but as I was growing up I went into novels and I carried on till this very day. I remember I finished my pocket money just to travel to those days was at Macalister Road, where you have this Indians’ stall renting out story books. I read books during my recess time, underneath my desk to avoid being caught by our prefects, on my daily bus journey from Air Itam to my school at Leith Streets or any where else, at the bus transit station, weekends, confinement days, even now if I have a little time squeeze out from my busy schedule.

You see, I have all the materials inside my head from so many books/ resources, and I have wanted very much to start my amatuer story writing many times, but do not have the gut to do so. Therefore with this mission I have an indirect oppotunity and when I tried to put it done in words for The White Lady and the Dragon, everything comes out so naturally, of course with grammar mistakes. I bought many characters into the story, and also saw them coming alive. I named the grandmother ‘Supa’ remembering Phlox grandmother as ‘Pupa’, the lord as ‘Sir William’, the son as ‘Lord Stephen’ and etc.

I thought I can do the storyline to the advantage of all my teammates, so that coming the next online we do not have to crack our head on the story. I thought I can permit and endure of the cutting out and replacing whatever they wants to change.

Oh my, I was so wrong.......
I was like so lost, watching on my computer screen, seeing my invented characters being removed bits by bits. This is no fault of my teammates, as they do not realise that I have put all my heart into it. The feelings in me was like ‘Tanya saying goodbye to her family’ – my heart felt so heavy, I can’t breathe at some moment, I need to remind myself to breathe, I felt blood rushing to my head, worse of all I felt my heart being wrench out and believe me it is so painful.

Therefore at some point, the google.doc was running into problem to have the story being deleted, I was relieved (but later Cheng asked me to paste it back using my file) sigh-sigh....

I carried the feeling even the next day, the thing still in my mind, and I say to myself I need to pen this down into my blog, not to ask for sympathy from my readers, but a revenue to pour our my sadness so that I have no more of it in my heart.

Now, I can only understand how some of the novelist who has their story to be told into a movie, felt. So many wonderful scene and character be performed ‘karate-chop’.

Even my ‘home minister’ felt my misery when we went to bed but he told me his side, “it is okay, it is for the benefit of the mission, you win some and you will lose some, it is okay” and I keep my finger crossed I will be okay then.

Chatango chat - Into the realm of the silent kingdom

I was not really deep into the dream this night, there are something in my mind that could not leave me be. I was the player with a semi-conscious and semi-unconscious mind this night, whatever I dreamed was not semi-spontaneous but rather what I want it to be. Oh what a mess and I accept my flaw. Hope that I didn't spoilt the soup this night.

The Beginning.....

I wanted
-to be the one to rescue Phlox,
-Phlox to smile to the seaweeds,
-the pathway to the return to the castle to change,
-the castle to change,
-to communicate with the occupantants in the castle,
-a character of a shadow to appear,
-the creature to hold a spear and point at us,
-OFO to touch the creature with her magic touch,
-to see one couple, looks like the king and queen, very loving...too on the wall
-to see 2 little girl playing here... on this end of the wall
-to look at the ground..... there is no ground.... we are walking on air.....
-to look and imagine....BLUE is standing there..... infront of another entrance.... he is asking us to go forward....
-to imagine BLUE to standing staring at us, very impatiently waiting at the side
-to shift my torch to BLUE way, and all to see his eyes is red in colour.... very fierce....
-all to come closer together, I will put on my protecting sheild..... so as to sheild us until Fidget comes... okay..

Or is it my imagination that I was dreaming? Sigh-Sigh... what a night....

Chapter 1 - Facilitating Play with Non Player

Answers to Questions unanswered previously.

How would I apply this contribution into my clinical work?

Play takes place in the period of illusion in the "transitional space" (Winnicott) between the imaginary and the real world between the "me" and the "not me". Therefore has to do with me as the therapist and client playing together, if I cannot play then I will not be suitable for this work. If the client cannot play, then something needs to be done to enable the client to be able to play, to allow the dramatherapy to begin. As said by Winnicott - there is a linkages between play, self development and creativity - it is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality and as this result the individual discovers the self.

For my 1st play in BOLD, I have experience the playing together with T, I found that I can play, and very fortunately for me as a therapist T is a player and as a result we went into a lot of imaginary scenes, that also allows the dramatherapy to begin. Not only my client found his self, but me too at some point.

Is attachment universal or only limited to children with their natural birth mothers?
According the the attachment theory by John Bowlby - studying attachment behaviors in animals and humans, he theorized that the function of early attachment to the mother is to protect the child from the predators (same for both humans and animals. On the Evolutionary level - the attachment shields the infant from harm.
On the Psychological level- the attachment serves to reduce anxiety and to impart a sense of security.

If the child has a Secure base of attachment to the mother, Bowlby hypothesized, several important achievement can follow.
1. the still vulnerable child can comfortably explore the environment with less fear and arousal, knowing that the mother is available in times of danger,
2. the secure child will have less need to develop psychological defenses and
3. the child can form and internal mental representation of the caring protector, and overtime can identify with the internalized image.

Bowlby believed that the need for Attachment is never outgrown but endures throughout one's life. So, does it answer that Attachment is Universal to both humans and animals.

then,
What about.... Is attachment only limited to children with their natural birth mothers? How does that relate to the object realtions model of say Winnicort?
No attachment is not only limited to children with their natural birth mothers, then I will use Winnicot theory to answer - Transitional object.
In human childhood development, a transitional object which is a physical object with takes the place of the mother - child bond (dolls, teddy bears or blankets). When the young child begins to separate the 'me' from the 'not-me' and evolves from complete dependence to a stage of relative independence, it uses transitional objects. The infant sees himself and the mother as a whole, whereby the mother 'brings the world' to the infant without delay. But what about in separation, the child comes to realize that the mother is separate from him throught which it appears that the child has lost something. the realization can be painful, and also frustation and anxiety too, knowing that nobody can will 'bring the world' to him/her. The transitional object is often the first 'not me' possession that really belongs to the child. This object represents all components of 'mothering' and it means that the child himself is able to create what he needs as well. It enables the child to have a fantasized bond with the mother when he/she gradually separates. This is important at the time of going to sleep and as a defence against anxiety.

But in here, it might result into another further theory by others using "Strange Situation Test" -
1. Secure
2. Insecure (insecure-avoidant, insecure-ambivalent, or insecure-naracissistic)
3. Disorganised/disoriented.

Unstable environments, financial problems and self preoccupied parents - who are unprepared for parenting and not able to adequately support the child's development are common in the histories of Disorganised/disoriented attachment. Because here, parents in such situations cannot promote self-regulation, increase sensitivity to others, or aid brain developemnt the child is at risk for future emotional, cognitive and psychological problems.

Can my client T, in this stage of Disorganised/disoriented? I see the parents as being young not ready to for parenthood when he was born, and very self preoccupied always busy and as a result not being able to support T development.

Thanks Alex for asking me questions, now I have a clearer picture.

Comments are needed for my further learning, I might be at 'wrong track'.